J.A.H (Just a Little Help)

After much thought and prayer, I have finally decided to move forward with my nonprofit. Despite the many obstacles that come with raising a child with Aspergers, it has been one of my greatest joys. In honor of my son, I've decided to dedicate my nonprofit in honor of him. I am looking for individuals interested in volunteering their time to assist children on the Autism spectrum as a mentor with social and organization skills..... stay tuned...

Aspergers + Middle School+ 6 Index Cards= Continuous Progress

Its been a while since I've posted but I'm back again. We made it through the first year of middle school and boy was it a journey!!! All through Elementary School I thought I was the parent expert as it pertained to Aspergers. I thought I had it all under control and just knew all the sticky notes all over the house and the color coordinated binder we prepared for Middle School would make Middle School just as easy to navigate as Elementary School... OH HOW WRONG I WAS!! I hadn't considered the hormonal or extreme social changes we would face nearly the entire school year. I found myself becoming more and more frustrated trying to address many of the issues without remembering all the tools and knowledge I had gained over the years about my sons difference. Jahmeir became quit popular rather quickly and I soon became worried that his popularity was for all the wrong reasons. Naturally, his peers loved his appearance and his sense of humor but as they began to notice his difference, humor became frustration for his peers and he began experiencing rejection. He tried his best to self process these situations and I found myself constantly saying "you're twelve now, you shouldn't be this immature or you should know how to make friends and choose the right ones". What was wrong with this response? Simple, I had forgotten that Aspergers doesn't change with age.  If I'm being completely honest, it becomes exhausting after years of prompting and routines and you think "ok he's got it now" all to discover, if anything, he needs more prompting and support now more than ever. I started reading books again and trying different things and nothing seemed to work. One day in a conversation with my son, I realized I was seeking advice from everything and everyone but the actual source, my child. I then decided to do an activity with Jahmeir that allowed me to see how he felt and perceived me as a parent. Initially, he was apprehensive but I ensured him this was a safe space to speak freely and honestly express yourself. We did an activity where we both took 6 index cards. On 3 cards we wrote positive traits about the other and on the remaining 3 cards we wrote 3 negative things about the other that we wanted the other to work on. This was the best activity I've ever done and it provided me with great insight on creating new routines with his input and perspective in mind. All in all, this school year taught me that Aspergers requires continuous practice. There is no one way that works. My advice to parents out there raising a pre-teen / teen with aspergers is to remain patient remember be it 5 years or 15 years, the journey is an ongoing process so the sooner you accept that the easier your journey.